I’m about a 100 years older than I look


I was watching Private Practice last night during some rare “Angie time” (read – baby free time).  Dr. Shepherd, who’s been through a lot in the last year as any character on a good drama has, tells the guy who asks her out that she understands that he thinks they look the same age, but in reality because of all she’s been through she is actually about 100 years older than she looks.

Yep, that about sums up how I feel.

We got tons of great news a week and a half ago about how well Wes’ treatment is going.  And I found myself not having the party I thought I would have about it.  I thought perhaps I was bracing myself for bad news so my body just wouldn’t let me be happy.  Then I found myself in a mood towards the end of last week.  You know what I mean when I say a mood.  My theory is that it all caught up with me finally.  What that good news did is allow me to relax a little and not have to force myself to think positive and put a smile on to the world. I am working on letting all of that process through and let it go.  I apologize to anyone I set ablaze with my spittin’ fire last week.

While I was having a rough go at it, we were also dealing with the first time Wes has been sick since he started his treatment and I was sick.  We try so hard to keep the germs at bay but somehow some cold germs snuck in and got us both.  We spent the day Sunday taking Wes’ temp every hour, talking to the on-call pediatric oncologist, and packing a bag and waiting for the “we have to go to the hospital” moment.  But it never came!  He beat this thing!  AND while his white blood counts were the lowest they get between chemo rounds!  This kid is incredible!

We watched a lot of TV during the couple days that we were both feeling like crud.  I’d like to review a couple things I learned during this time:

1) this NeYo kid is a heck of a dancer

2) we are supposed to be eating non-nutritious granola bars slowly and with a cheshire-cat grin (if you and I have ever discussed how most people don’t get enough fiber in their diets, the fact that 99% of granola bars are a load of baloney when it comes to health and fiber has probably come up)

3) sweatpants happen

4) the album “For the Kids” is a lot of fun for adults and kids – case in point, it contains the “Menomenah” song from The Muppets done by Cake


Thank you all for taking this journey with us and allowing me to feel what I feel, be how I am, and have my tough moments in addition to celebrating the successes.



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