My husband and I regularly joke about some of his OCD tendencies. He checks to make sure his alarm is set about 4 times before he goes to sleep. In all of his therapist social worker glory, he tells me that it isn’t OCD if it doesn’t bother the person doing the repeated activity. So if it bothers me that he has to run downstairs to make sure he set the coffee pot for the 3rd time, that’s not OCD. Only if it bothers him. And he informs me it doesn’t bother him.
When I have tough moments, okay days, over the last couple months, I tell my best friend Jenny that I can’t actually be going crazy because I can point out that I know everything seems worse when you are feeling down. And that I realize I am overreacting about something. Or that I am worrying unnecessarily. But I went to go talk to a mental health counselor, just to use any resource I can to get closer to working through all the emotions tied to being a new mom, and a mom of a child with cancer, and a wife to a new dad, and a wife to a dad of a child with cancer.
He shared this little nugget with me.
Life = Pain
Pain (P) + Radical Acceptance (RA) = Just Pain
P – RA = Suffering
What do you think about that?
I gotta tell ya. I rejected that whole thing right from the get go with the “Life = Pain”. Yes, life does come with some pain. But to define it just like that. No thanks. I joke that I like a little coffee with my creamer. Well, I like to think that life is a whole lotta love with a little pain. Not just “Life = Pain”. So then I have a hard time even continuing to work through the rest of the mathematical equation. And by the by, when I was sitting in high school algebra and asked my teacher when I would ever use this stuff in real life, I don’t recall him saying anything about a major life theory being reduced to a math equation. Who likes math so much that they want to use it as an analogy?
The point of his little nugget of info though is that if you don’t learn anything from pain, then it did you no good but to cause you suffering. I am definitely learning from my pain.
I came across a couple articles that I thought were helpful, and no mathematical analogies were used. Or baseball analogies for that matter.
I leave you with a video of Wes from earlier this week. One of his favorite things to do is roll around on the couch or the dog bed and one of us roll him over or nudge him. It sends him into fits of giggles. It is hilarious. Guaranteed to make you smile! I call it “Rolling in the Deep”…..