How does that saying go? You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose?
My friends are the people I choose to spend time with for a reason – the amazing people they are, how they push me to be a better person, how they are different than me, how they are similar to me, the fun things we do together, the way we get into giggle fits. Over the last couple weeks I had several moments of a “a view to a friend”. Moments where I saw my friends through someone else’s eyes and it made me love them even more.
My best friend in the entire world, my sister by choice as we say, is coming to visit us today! Jenny loves with all of her heart, sometimes until it hurts. She is a do-er. She will give you anything she has if it will help you. She somehow makes about 30 hours in a day with all of the things she accomplishes in a day. She is beautiful, with a smile that lights up the room and can lift your spirits from the depths of well, you know. She spent years using her voice to convince me I could do this crazy thing called motherhood, while all she really needed was to let her actions show it because she is an incredible mother with patience that she must pull out of her, well, you know. I have the great fortune of being good friends with her husband as well, so I regularly see Jenny through his eyes and I am overwhelmed with how strong their love is.
Earlier this week Jenny and I were talking about how Thanksgiving went with our respective families. Jenny had a very full house with 5 kids under 16 and 7 adults. You just know when you get that many people together, there are going to be good stories. You should also know that Jenny has some sort of weird ju-ju that causes her to have accidents and have difficult things happen in her life. How this happens to such a wonderful person I do not know, but that discussion is for another time. Back to the story of Thanksgiving. Her family decided to go out and get their Christmas tree, tie it to the roof of the car, drive it home – you know, the usual Christmas decorating steps. Enter Jenny’s bad ju-ju. Somehow, when her dad takes the Christmas tree off the roof of the car and hefts it over his shoulder to take it into the house, he poked Jenny in the eye with the top of the tree. Yeah, you heard me right. Poked the woman in the eye with the tree! And not just a little love-tap. Jenny said she swore she would look down and see her eye on the ground after being impaled by the tree. Sorry, too much? The whole family is around, and Jenny’s 4 year old is in the car waiting for someone to get her out of her carseat. Someone tells Ava that her mommy is hurt and she’ll have to wait a few minutes to get out. Ava loses it, starts wailing and calling for her mommy.
In that moment, I saw Jenny through Ava’s eyes. So much love, so much need to have that guidance in this world. Ava’s world is filled by her mom, guided by her mom. To see the mother that Jenny is to Ava in that moment, it brought tears to my eyes. I knew Jenny was amazing, but to see that from someone else’s eyes was incredible.
A couple weeks ago I went to see Twilight (yeah, yeah, say what you will) and have breakfast with some of my husband’s co-workers from his previous job that he left 3 months ago. I have always felt so humbled that these folks think of us, think of me, and include us in their get-togethers. This was one of the few times that I have been around this group without my husband, and it was so interesting to really see him through their eyes. To see that the caring, gentle, funny man that I love shines his light so bright that others are drawn to him as well for all of those reasons.
A view to a friend. It’s a pretty special thing.